


The Light That's Left

by orphan_account



Category: Evanescence - Fandom, Paramore, The Pretty Reckless, Tonight Alive, We Are the In Crowd
Genre: Abuse, And maybe rape, Anxiety, But then during group it's kind of like awww, Eating Disorders, F/F, Hayley Williams likes fire, I haven't decided, I was really bored, Mental Hospital AU, Pyromaniac tendencies, Self Harm, Suicide, The OC is a world of fucked up, and that's pretty much the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-03-31 00:40:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 7,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3957958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To say that Hayley Williams never meant to get caught is not a lie. She most certainly didn't mean to set fire to her own bedroom. Now, she's stuck in Sunshine Days Mental Health Facility and she's all alone. When 16 year old Aiden Smalls has a panic attack and Hayley calms her down within ten seconds, will they finally start to heal?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Sixteen year old Hayley Williams just wanted to get out her anger, burn her failed geometry test. It just had to catch on her curtains, didn't it? Now she's sitting in a small room with two beds in the nearest mental health facility. Because she got angry.  
A brown haired girl shuffled into the room and stared at Hayley with a strange expression. They stared at each other for several more seconds until an overly smiley nurse made her way inside.  
"Hayley, welcome to Sunshine Days. This is your roommate, Taylor Jardine." The small brunette interrupted the nurse.  
"It's Tay, Nurse Julianna. How many times do I have to correct you." The nurse rolled her eyes at Tay and then turned back to Hayley, stating that she and 'Taylor' had the same schedule and that it was currently time to go to free hour. She then quickly exited, leaving the two to talk.

"So, I'll introduce you to the others then?" Tay motioned for Hayley to follow her into the hallway. They walked along the corridor in silence. Hayley nearly slammed into the brunette when the girl in question abruptly stopped in front of a room. There were other girls inside, a green haired girl was playing cards with a black haired girl. Tay nodded at the two.  
"Amy Lee, Hayley. Hayley, Amy." She said gesturing to the black haired girl. The green haired girl stood up, smiling.  
"Jenna, Jenna McDougall." She stated, shaking Hayley's hand. It was then that Hayley noticed a tiny girl with blue hair in the corner, staring at the wall.  
"Who is she?" Amy frowned slightly.  
"Aiden Smalls. She's more messed up then any of us combined. We don't even know her story, only the doctors do. There's another girl here, Taylor Momsen, who's currently in Solitary. She and I saw Aiden arrive. The girl was sobbing and screaming and kicking and punching the doctors, yelling for them not to hurt her. Then she got sedated. When she came to, she refused to talk to anyone." Hayley observed the girl who had suddenly piqued her interest.


	2. Two

At this point, Hayley had been 'kindly' given her medicine, 'kindly' told that she couldn't have her lighter, and 'kindly' escorted to her and Tay's room when she didn't accept the fact. Frankly, Hayley was sick of the 'kindness'.  
Tay walked in, smirking at Hayley.  
"Time for Satan's test, I mean group therapy." She said. The fiery redhead followed her roommate to a room the had several chair is a circle. Tay dragged her to a chair next to a blonde she hadn't seen before.  
"Taylor, Hayley Williams. Hayley, Taylor Momsen." Hayley smiled, nodded, and sat down. Her eyes zeroed in on the door when Aiden shuffled in, staring at the ground. She was soon followed by the doctor; a tall blonde woman.  
"Hello girls." She said, smiling at each of them.  
"Good afternoon Eliza." The others mumbled.  
"I see there is a new girl joining us. Would you please state your name, age, diagnosis, likes, dislikes, and mood for the rest of us?" Hayley rolled her eyes, making Tay and Jenna snicker.  
"Hayley Williams. Sixteen and a pyromaniac. I like fire, the color orange, and singing. I dislike water, kindness" more laughter was heard at this statement, "and rude people. Today I'm feeling bored." Tay smiled and offered to go next. The doctor nodded and scribbled something down.  
"Tay Jardine, seventeen, self harm. I like sharp things," she cracked an evil smile, "my new friend Hayley Williams, and food. I dislike annoying things, most vegetables, and small children." Tay paused, thinking, "Today I'm feeling amused." Taylor volunteered to go next.  
"Taylor Momsen, fourteen. I'm here for anorexia. I like the fact that I'm leaving next week," she and Tay high fived, "not being scared of food, and music. I dislike staying in this facility. Today I'm feeling elated." Once Taylor was finished, Eliza asked Aiden if she wanted to introduce herself. Aiden froze for several seconds, then started to hyperventilate. Hayley got out of her chair and walked over. Without thinking, she knelt down and grabbed Aiden's hands.  
"Aiden, look at me." Hayley spoke softly. She moved Aiden's hand to her own upper chest, "Focus on my breathing. Can you look at me so I know you understand?" Aiden looked up, making eye contact. The girl visible calmed as her breathing slowed to that of a normal pace. Hayley slowly let to once she knew that Aiden was calm.  
The short redhead turned to sit back down and saw that all eyes were on her. Not only that, but Eliza was writing furiously on her memo pad. The blonde woman looked at them all and told them that they could go to free hour.  
\-----------------  
"How did you do that?" Tay asked, "She's never made eye contact before. Or let anyone touch her." She added as an afterthought.  
"I don't know, I just reacted. She let me." Hayley replied, falling back onto her bed. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and Nurse Julianna walked in.  
"Taylor Jardine? Eliza has requested that you switch to a single room. You and Aiden Smalls will be switching." Tay gave Hayley a pointed look and her grabbed what little stuff she had, walking out. Hayley sat in silence until Aiden shuffled in, put her things in her closet, and fell back onto her bed, staring at the ceiling.  
Hayley's usual urge to burn something was quickly replaced with curiosity about the blue-haired girl just across the room, but a million miles away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have an editor, so all mistakes are, in fact, mine. If you see something, do not hesitate to inform me in the comments.


	3. Three

Hayley woke up to quiet whimpers. She looked over at Aiden and noticed the small girl toss and turn in her bed. The redhead shuffle over and touched Aiden's hand.  
"Aiden, it's Hayley, you're okay. You're here at Sunshine. It's okay." She kept whispering comforting words until she heard soft snores. Smiling and her roommate, Hayley returned to her own side of the room and fell asleep.

Aiden woke up surprised and confused. For the first time in three years, she hadn't had a nightmare. She quietly observed the girl across the room, who, at this point, was still half asleep and rubbing her eyes. Hayley smiled at Aiden after yawning for several seconds. Nurse Julianna walked in to tell the pair to go to breakfast.  
The short redhead turned to Aiden, seemingly asking if the other girl would join her. The smaller girl followed Hayley immediately and they walked to the cafeteria in a comfortable silence.  
Aiden watched in amusement as Hayley gave her oatmeal a disdainful look and poked at it with her spoon.  
"Oatmeal is weird." Hayley complained, "It's jiggly, like jello. I don't trust any food that impersonates another." The blue haired girl gave her an amused glare, then made a show of eating a spoonful of oatmeal, which she immediately spit ou, because awful wasn't a strong enough word to describe the taste.  
This sent Hayley into a fit of giggling. Aiden's lips curled into a barely-there smile; Hayley's laugh was officially her favorite sound. Honestly, she didn't know why Hayley made her feel so normal. She wasn't as scared around Hayley, and she even slept through the night.  
Aiden put a clump of egg at the tip of a piece of bacon. Hayley squealed.  
"It's a tree! That's genius!" She cried, taking a sip of her chocolate milk. She had a milk mustache, which Aiden gestured to while smirking at her red headed roommate.  
Tay looked on while sitting next to Jenna and Amy.  
"She's smiling and acting semi normal." Taylor commented from across the table.   
"She's getting better and it's only been a day. That's insane. I think Hayley seems to be having fun too." Jenna agreed, pushing her food around her plate.  
"Definitely."

During free hour, Hayley and Aiden stayed in their room, simply enjoying eachother's company. Hayley told Aiden about her life before Sunshine, and Aiden loved every minute. She loved that Hayley treated her like she was normal, she loved it when Hayley sang. Honestly, she loved being around the fiery redhead in general.


	4. Four

Hayley walked into her one on one therapy session with Dr. Erin. The girl was calm, having just spent the entire free hour reading excerpts of her favorite book to Aiden. It was two weeks into her stay at Sunshine, and Hayley was feeling better than before. She still struggled with urges, yes, but she no longer relied on fire to get out her emotions.  
"Good afternoon, Hayley." The fiery redhead nodded.  
"So, shrinky dink, what are you going to ask me about today?"  
"I'd like you to tell me how you feel fire, if you're willing. Last session, you stated that you felt it inside." Hayley looked surprised for several moments, but nodded.  
"We'll, it's more like the overload of emotions. I feel the emotions filling up inside me, and I feel like if I don't turn them on something else, they'll burn right through me and kill me." She explained quietly, suddenly becoming more introverted.  
"Do you still feel like that now?" Erin asked, noting the way that Hayley's demeanor changed so drastically. Hayley muttered something incoherent. "Could you please repeat that?"  
" I said, if why I'm here is the fire, then Aiden is the water that neutralizes it."  
"Would you say that rooming with Aiden has helped you progress with getting better?"  
Hayley shrugged, but refused to talk for the rest of the hour long session. She sat cross legged on the chair, staring at her unmanicured nails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I so sorry it's this short, it's the First one that I didn't write beforehand. Also, HAYLEY AND AIDEN OHHH I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING OH AND I ONLY OWN THE IDEA, AND AIDEN!!!!!


	5. Five

Hayley was angry. She needed fire, preferably that minute. She ran out as soon as her session was over and hid under her covers. Aiden wasn't there. Tears spilled down Hayley's cheeks and her body was wracked with sobs. Her hands yanked on her hair as she curled up into a ball. She cried, letting out every pent up emotion she had felt in the last two weeks.  
She felt a hand on her shoulder and shrugged it away. Stupid nurses, stupid kindness, this place was nothing but a jail cell hell. Hayley was startled by a hoarse whisper.  
"H-Hayley, stop." The redhead turned, but there was no one in the room but Aiden.  
"Did you just-wait, when did this start. I mean, you did just speak, right?" Aiden nodded slightly. Hayley smiled, her friend was getting better. Aiden trusted her enough to do something she hadn't done in years. "Can you say something again?"  
Aiden nodded. "H-hi." She stated, a small smile playing at her lips. Hayley reached out to give her blue haired companion a hug, but stopped when Aiden tensed.  
"Sorry." Hayley winced, "Do you want to go eat dinner?" Aiden nodded and followed her red-headed friend to the cafeteria.  
\--------------------------------------  
Later that night, Hayley woke up to Aiden's cries. So, Hayley crossed to the other side of the room like every other night and tried to calm her roommate down. The girl's cries didn't stop, so Hayley tried a different tactic and held Aiden's hand in her own. Aiden quieted, but started up again once Hayley let go.  
Hayley wasn't thinking when she curled up in the other girl's bed. She certainly wasn't thinking when she fell asleep cuddling the smaller girl.  
That was how they were found the next day by Julianna Brighton. The nurse smiled at the sight in front of her and left quickly to report it to Dr.Erin.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's late, I'm sorry. No excuses. Also, way too short for my liking. Next chapter will be better

Hayley sat down in her group therapy session, her fingers lightly ghosting along Aiden's. The pyromaniac was silently wondering if her counterpart would show off her newfound speaking abilities. Hayley promised Aiden she wouldn't push. Hayley had intentions of keeping that promise.  
Jenna was sat next to Amy in shock. Aiden wasn't shuffling around anymore, and was smiling and blushing at whatever Hayley had whispered in her ear. For the past month, they had been inseparable. Jenna could have sworn she heard Aiden whispering back, but that wasn't possible.  
"Glad you could join us girls, we have a new member of the team today. Can you please introduce yourself?" The tall girl with lilac hair stepped forward.   
"I'm- uh. I'm Kathryn." Jenna smiled at the girl's shyness, but frowned when she noticed the gauze covered wrists. Maybe it's been years since she genuinely smiled. I want to put a real and true smile I her face, the blonde teen thought.  
\---------------  
Kathryn noticed the green haired girl the second she walked in. The girl lookes like she hadn't eaten a real meal in months. Maybe she hasn't, the lilac haired girl mused, maybe she has an eating disorder. After an awkward and stuttered introduction, Kathryn slid into the seat next to the girl.   
"Okay, so each of you are going to talk about what you can with the person next to you. It's a trust building exercise."  
Kathryn turned to the green haired girl.  
"I'm Jenna, and you're beautiful."   
"I-uh- you know my name. And you're beautiful too."  
"Do you want to sit with me at lunch?"  
"Uh-well... Okay?"


	7. Seven

Kathryn sat down next to Jenna, slightly daunted by the girl's straightforwardness. No one had ever shown interest in her before. Then again, it's not everyday that she's in this... position. Jenna no doubt was feeling pity for her.  
"Kathryn, these," she gestured to two other girls, "are my friends, Amy and Tay."  
"Hi." She whispered, tucking her lilac hair behind her ear. The brunette, Tay, squealed.  
"You're the adorable new girl!"  
\----------  
After lunch, Tay stopped Hayley.  
"You go ahead, I'll see you at the room in a bit." Aiden nodded and walked away.  
"So, you enjoying your friendship with mutey over there?"  
"What do you want Tay?"  
"Burn bitch, burn. Just like your bedroom." Hayley lunged at Tay and shoved her against the wall, anger consuming her.  
"Who the fuck told you?"  
"I'll never say." Tay sneered, shoving back. Hayley slapped the brunette, who growled in response.  
"WHO FUCKING TOLD YOU?" The redhead yelled.  
"Burn." This earned Tay a series of punches, until several orderlies pulled the smaller girl away.  
"Ms. Williams, getting into a physical disagreement with another patient means twenty four hours of solitary confinement. If you don't come with us we will be forced to drug you." Hayley's head dropped and she followed to orderlies to the confinement ward.  
\----------------  
Aiden was panicking. Hayley hadn't returned since being stopped by Tay. The rational part of Aiden knew there had to be an explanation, but well, Aiden was in a mental health facility for a reason.  
So she paced. She paced, and when pacing didn't work, she cried. Crying turned into screaming, an soon she was out of control.  
The orderlies walked in, restraining Aiden, who let out a scream loud enough to alert the entire ward. A scream for the only girl who could help her.   
"HAYLEY!" she yelled. Just down the hall, Jenna stopped in her tracks, staring at the door.


	8. Eight

Hayley was in a white room. She learned that the purpose of the white room wasn't to restrain patients, but to let them get out their aggression. So she did.  
She kicked the plush walls, punched them, tired herself out. After several hours, she fell to the (also quite plush) floor. She was exhausted.  
\---------------------------------------------  
Aiden woke up in the white room and sighed. She knew the purpose of the white room, this wasn't her first time there, but she had no aggression. It was beaten out of her as a child. Now she just wanted to cry, and she wanted Hayley. Hayley would have made everything better.  
Dr. Erin walked inside the room.  
"Aiden? We have some news. Your father has been released from prison for good behavior. Not only that, but your restraining order against both your parents expires in three weeks." Aiden's face dropped and she ran her hands through her hair.  
"Aiden? Do you want to renew the restraining order?" Aiden shrugged, then shook her head no. "Are you sure? Your mother would be allowed to visit you. Your father wouldn't be, based on his ruling." Again, Aiden shrugged. Erin sighed. "Your time in solitary is done, you can go to your group therapy now. Ms. Williams is out as well."  
Aiden nodded and left the room.  
\---------------------------------------------  
"Guess it's crazy season." Tay muttered, noticing the new girl, who seemed fairly lost. Tay's attention turned towards the door as Aiden walked in.  
Aiden quietly took her seat next to Hayley and grabbed her hand. Dr. Erin entered the room and sat down.  
"So today we have another new addition to the group. Can you introduce yourself Carter?" The girl, Carter, wasn't paying attention. "Carter?" The girl looked up curiously. "Can you say hello?"  
"Hi. I'm Carter." She then grinned, showing off her dimples, and held up five fingers. "I'm this many." From across the room, Tay saw Jenna and Kathryn smiling at the short girl. Amy looked kind of angry, but that was Amy for you, moods changing so fast you don't have time to blink.  
"Girls, introduce yourself to Carter." Hayley grinned.  
"Hi Carter, I'm Hayley." Carter giggled.  
"Can I call you Hayles?"  
"Sure, call me whatever you want. This is my best friend Aiden."  
Next, Jenna and Kathryn introduced themselves. Tay smiled.  
"I'm Tay."  
"Tay Tay!" Carter squealed, giving her a hug. Tay gave into the cuteness and hugged back. "Tay Tay is coolio."  
"Nope." Hayley muttered. Aiden gave her a look and she quieted down.  
Carter sat next to Tay and swung her legs back and forth. The rest of group therapy was spent doing absolutely nothing.  
\---------------------------------------------  
Julianna walked into Erin's office, slightly worried.  
"We have a situation, Miss Forester."  
"Yes?"  
"Jenna and Kathryn, Aiden and Hayley, and I'd bet on my psychology degree Carter and Taylor."  
"Ah yes, they do seem to be pairing up like that."  
"I'm worried that something might happen. They're all unstable, especially Aiden, Hayley, and Kathryn."  
"I don't think we have to worry about Aiden and Hayley, although we should keep and eye on them to make sure they are not too dependent on each other. We haven't had Kathryn around here long enough to know how Jenna affects her." Erin nodded thoughtfully.  
"I do think that is the best course of action, keep an eye on them. If Hayley and Aiden do become too dependent, We'll switch Hayley and Carter. Hayley hasn't had problems with Jenna, correct?"  
"None. That reminds me, Jenna told me today that she heard Aiden talk." Erin's eyes widened.  
"Why wasn't I told?"  
"I'm not sure, you'd have to ask the orderlies who put her in solitary."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering, Tay and Carter's 'relationship' is more of a 'we help each other, but not like, dating'. I feel like that would be weird considering Carter's mental age. They both need someone to hold onto, and that's how their relationship will be until Carter is in an almost-normal mental age. Also, yes, Aiden and Hayley's relationship was supposed to progress quickly.


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song isn't mine. It's Don't You Worry, Love by Oh Honey

To Carter, everything was a game. She didn't know why she woke up at night crying about cars exploding, or why her torso was covered in scars, but she did know how to play games. Her favorite was chess.  
Carter was good at chess. It was easy for her to think about, when lots of others were hard. Doctors could tell her to try to remember before she turned five, but she just couldn't. In chess, she just had to see the possibilities.  
Tay was easy to think about. Simple name, pretty, nice. Carter liked thinking about pretty girls. Tay had great hugs.  
Hugs were Carter's favorite thing next to games. They were cuddly and warm and easy.  
\---------------------------------------------  
Amy was pissed. Pissed and confused. And jealous. Tay was hers. Carter just waltzed into the room and took her away because she was adorable. Who cares if she thinks like a kid, she needs to learn that she can't take what isn't hers.  
Why did Tay even like her? She's not even attractive. Tay could do better. The relationship between her and Carter was just fucking wrong.  
Amy was startled from her thoughts when Carter skipped down the hall. The girl tripped and fell.  
"Idiot." Amy scowled, walking away. Carter was left sitting on the floor, wondering what she did wrong.  
\---------------------------------------------  
Kathryn and Jenna sat in Jenna's room, playing 20 questions.  
"Favorite color?" Kathryn asked.  
"Green, you?"  
"Purple."  
"Sexuality?"  
"Uh... Well, I guess I'm pan."  
"Ah, bi." The door opened and Carter's head peeked through.  
"Where is Tay?" She asked, frowning.  
\---------------------------------------------  
Aiden slumped onto her bed and tears rolled down her cheeks. Nothing was going to be alright. She didn't want to fight anymore.  
A weight pressed onto the mattress.  
"Aiden? What's wrong? Can I make it better?" Aiden shook her head. Hayley pulled the smaller girl into her lap and started singing softly into her ear.  
"When your head feels heavy,  
And you’re walkin' alone.  
When the road is empty,  
And everything you own is broken or sold.

Light will always find its way in,  
Into the cracks of the night.  
Open your eyes.

When the world gets dark,  
Don’t you worry, love.  
And the demons, let 'em starve,  
Don’t you worry, love.

When the air gets colder,  
Don’t let ya heart turn to stone.  
Let the weight fall off your shoulders.  
And know in the end, you’ll find your way home.

Light will always find its way in,  
Into the cracks of the night.  
Open your eyes.

When the world gets dark,  
Don’t you worry, love.  
And the demons, let 'em starve,  
Don’t you worry, love.

The fear in my chest,  
Is burning fire red.  
Ya know, ya know, ya know.  
My love is turning blue,  
I’d never lie to you.  
There’s hope, there’s hope, there’s hope.

When the world gets dark,  
Don’t you worry, love.  
And the demons, let 'em starve,  
Don’t you worry, love."  
The two sat there for a span of time that felt like minutes, and hours, and days, just taking in each other's presence.


	10. Ten

It was two weeks into Carter's stay, as everyone was watching her...  
-about a minute earlier-  
"Carter, can you tell us how old you are?" Dr. Erin asked. Carter froze. They said she was seventeen. It didn't feel like that. She was five. That's what her mommy told her.  
But her mommy did tell her that she was going to camp. This didn't feel like camp. Did her mommy lie about her age too? Mommies shouldn't ever lie, Carter thought.  
"I uh... I'm- uh." She stuttered. "I don't know." She said in a small voice. "You tell me I'm old, but mommy says I'm little. But mommy lied when she said this was camp. This isn't fun like camp. I don't know who's lying. I feel little."  
Tay glared at Erin.  
"You're making her anxious. Stop it." Tay waved for Carter to sit back down. Hayley was watching Tay. Tay wasn't this nice, she just wasn't. She was the Regina George of Sunshine. Okay, maybe that was a stretch, but not by much.   
Jenna and Kathryn's hearts were breaking for Carter, everyone's were. The air in the room stood still and everyone stared at the girl who stood up.  
"T-Tay's ri-right." She stuttered. Looking around and seeing everyone staring at her, she backed up and fell into Hayley's lap. Hayley held her close and started softly singing Don't You Worry, Love into her ear.  
"I KNEW IT, SHE WAS SCREAMING HAYLEY'S NAME WHEN SHE WAS TAKEN TO SOLITARY!" Jenna shouted. Aiden started crying into Hayley's shoulder.  
Kathryn shushed Jenna.   
"Ms. Williams, you can take Ms. Smalls back to your room." Hayley grabbed Aiden's hand and pulled her out of the room.  
"Why does she get to leave? When I was upset, you didn't let me leave." Amy said, glaring at Erin.  
"Maybe Aiden is extra sad." Carter suggested. Amy scoffed.  
"Shut up, fat ass." Tay growled and crossed the room.  
"What the fuck did you just call her, you shithead?"  
"I called her a fat ass. It's what she is." Amy said, glaring at Tay. Erin called for several orderlies.  
"She's not fucking fat. If you ever insult her like that again I'll fuck you up."   
"Why shouldn't I insult her if it's true. Give her some fucking pointers, like this one." Amy turned to Carter. "Just shove your fingers down your throat; that disgusting fat will go away. Tay will like you better if you're skinny." Tay threw the first punch, and the second, and didn't stop throwing them until Amy was on the ground. At this point, the orderlies entered and dragged both girls to solitary.  
\---------------------------------------------  
Jenna was pissed. How could Amy say something like that? Was that how she really felt? Did she feel like that about Jenna and just not say it? She knew she was gaining weight, but what if she was just getting even fatter?   
She couldn't get fatter. Kathryn nudged her shoulder.  
"Hi."  
"Hey."   
"You look upset, is something wrong?"  
"Am I fat?" Jenna asked timidly. Kathryn's brow furrowed as she frowned.  
"No, why would you- is this about this morning? Amy was wrong to say that, and her feelings about Carter have no connection to her feelings about you." Jenna sighed and poked her stomach.  
"I just feel like I can't enjoy anything because this keeps reminding me that I'm not good enough for the things that I want in life."  
"Well what do you want in life."   
"You." Kathryn blushed, then frowned.  
"You'll always be good enough for me."  
"I will?" Jenna inquired.  
"You will." Jenna smiled and pressed her lips to Kathryn's. The lilac haired girl responded immediately and put her arms around Jenna.


	11. Eleven

"I'm so proud of you Aiden." Hayley said. The two were lying on Hayley's bed. Aiden responded by squeezing her hand. "I know that this is gonna be hard, but I believe in you."  
"Thanks." Aiden whispered.  
\---------------------------------------------  
"Hey Carter." Dr. Erin said. Carter smiled and sat down. "How have you been?"  
"Tired. I miss Tay."  
"Lucky for you Tay will be back tomorrow."   
"Cool." Dr. Erin noted that Carter didn't use her normal terminology. "When do I get to see mommy?"  
"Your mother is visiting later today, once lunch is over. How do you feel about that."  
"I don't know. She's my mommy, but I like here better. She lied. You don't."  
"Well we're glad you like it here, and no, we don't lie. We want you to get better, and the only way to get better is to understand each other." Carter nodded.  
"Yeah!"  
"Is there anything you want to tell me about?" The brunette paused, then said yes.  
"Amy was being really mean to me. Why would she be mean, I'm always nice to her?" Erin struggled to find the right words to explain Amy's condition without breaching confidentiality.  
"Well, Amy can get angry easily, and since that's always changing, she doesn't know how to deal with it."  
"So she explodes. Like a car."  
"Carter, what do you mean?"  
"Well, I keep having dreams and a car explodes. Her meanness exploded out of her just like the fire out of the car." Erin bit her lip.  
"Yeah Carter, kind of like the fire from the car."  
\---------------------------------------------  
Hayley walked down the hallway, brushing her hair behind her ear. It was visiting day. The other times she had refused to see her family.  
Not to her surprise, only her sisters were there.  
"Hi McKayla, Erica." She greeted. McKayla ran over and hugged her.  
"Hayley I missed you!" She yelled, hopping up and down. Hayley hugged her younger sister back, then turned to Erica.  
"How are they?" She asked.  
"More pissed that you ruined their image than worried because you're in a facility."  
"To be honest, I wasn't expecting anything else." Nurse Julianna ran over quickly.  
"Ms. Williams, Ms. Smalls needs you."  
"Give me a minute Erica." She stated, following Julianna down the hall. Hayley made her way to Aiden and sat down next to the hyperventilating girl.  
"Aiden, can you match my breathing? In... Out... In... Out. There you go, that isn't so hard. In... Out." She whispered. Once Aiden's breathing slowed to a normal pace, Hayley decided to ask her a question.  
"Aiden, do you want to meet my sisters?" The blue haired girl nodded slightly and pulled on Hayley's hand. Try made their way back into the room.  
"Erica, this is Aiden. Aiden, Erica." Erica held out her hand to shake, but Aiden didn't move.  
"Aiden is shy." Hayley stated, squeezing her hand. "Really shy." Erica nodded.  
"Hi Aiden." McKayla giggled. Aiden smiled and patted the girl's head.


	12. Twelve

Aiden's whole world was falling apart and she couldn't do anything about it. Her safe space was breached. She couldn't do it, she couldn't.  
"Aiden, do you want to see her? I know it's not a visiting day, but she's demanding to see you."  
Aiden weakly nodded an stood up. Dr. Erin lead her to the visiting room, where her mother stood in a clean and pressed suit.  
"Darling, how are you?" She said, walking over and grabbing her hand. "You're looking well."   
"Mother." She whispered, cringing as her mother dug her nails into her hand.  
"Dr. Smythe, I would like to spend a minute with my daughter alone please." Erin shook her head.  
"I'm sorry Mrs. Smalls, I can't do that, however I can wait at the door."  
"That will suffice." She said, in a voice that said that the arrangements most definitely didn't suffice. Erin crossed to the other side of the room, leaving Aiden with the woman who had looked the other way and put on a showface for most of her life.  
"You ruined our family. You are poison. When your father gets out of jail, don't expect us to be so accommodating as to give you a place in our home. You are at fault. Do you understand?" Aiden nodded, her eyes trained one the floor. "Excuse me you ungrateful little shit, you look at me when I'm talking to you. One would think you were raised in a barnyard, not a high class home such as your father's and mine."  
"I understand ma'am." The small girl whispered. "I apologize for the inconvenience of having to see me." Mrs. Smalls nodded.  
"Well I must be on my way, I have places to be."  
\---------------------------------------------  
Kathryn pressed her lips to Jenna's forehead. The green-haired girl frowned.  
"I'm worried about you."  
"Why?" Kathryn asked.  
"You haven't been talking to me about how you're feeling. Sometimes you'll just stare off into space and then you just tell me you're fine. Why don't you trust me?" Kathryn sighed.  
"I trust you. I just don't want to be a burden. I don't want to make you feel worse."  
"You won't hurt me. I'm getting better, and I won't let myself fail. I just want to help you. I want to get out of here, together."  
"I want that too. It's just hard for me to talk about what I feel."  
"Well can you promise to try?" Kathryn nodded.  
"I can promise to try, for you."  
\---------------------------------------------  
Tay sat down next to Carter.  
"Hi. I'm sorry for scaring you."  
"You didn't scare me Tay. I get it. You got mad because Amy was mean." Carter sighed.  
"She shouldn't have said that to you. You aren't fat. No, you aren't the skinniest, but I don't like girls who look like skeletons."  
"Don't worry, Amy just didn't know how to handle it."  
"You're acting mature about this."  
"Well maybe I should act my age. I have to learn how at some point. I wanna go home."  
"So do I, Carter. So do I." Tay said, pulling Carter into a hug.  
\---------------------------------------------  
"Can you sing to me?" Aiden whispered, hugging Hayley.  
"Of course. Do you have a song?"  
"Skin by Sixx AM."  
"Paint yourself a picture  
Of what you wished you looked like  
Maybe then they just might  
Feel an ounce of your pain

Come into focus  
Step out of the shadows  
It's a losing battle  
There's no need to be ashamed

Cos they don't even know you  
All they see is scars  
And they don't see the angel   
Living in your heart

Let them find the real you  
Buried deep within  
Let them know with all  
You've got  
That you  
Are not  
Your skin

An when they start to judge you  
Show them your true colors  
And do unto others  
As you'd have done to you

Jut rise above this  
Kill them with your kindness  
Ignorance is blindness  
They're the ones that stand to lose

Cos they don't even know you  
All they see are scars  
They don't see the angel  
Living in your heart

Let them find the real you  
Buried deep within  
And let them know with all   
You've got  
That you  
Are not  
Your skin

They don't even know you  
All they see are scars  
And they don't see the angel  
Living in your heart

Let them find the real you   
Buried deep within  
And let them know with all  
You've got  
That you  
Are not  
You  
Are not   
Your skin"


	13. Chapter 13

It was late and here she was, barefoot, soaked, and wearing a stained-pink Catholic school uniform.  
"You shouldn't stray from your family, girl." She heard. The woman speaking was standing on her porch. "Why aren't you wearing shoes?" Runrunrunrunrunrunrun she repeated, turning in the opposite direction.  
-earlier-  
She was curled up in a fetal position on the ground, someone was yelling at her. She felt a splash of water. The glass in her mother's hand was empty and the red from her hair was dripping down her front.  
"Get the fuck out of here!" He yelled, grabbing her and throwing her outside. "Come back when you're not a fucking dipshit." He slammed the door and she started walking. Her white shirt was covered in red pen ink and water and she didn't have shoes and she was tired. So, she started walking. Down the street, around the corner, until she was stood behind some bushes in her friend's backyard. She sighed and lay down, but her mind wouldn't shut off. So she stood up and walked some more. She danced in the street, she was free.  
"You shouldn't stray from your family, girl."  
-later-  
She was considering asking a neighbor for shoes. How does one go about doing that? So, she walked. Through the twists and turns and back streets of her neighborhood until she couldn't recognize where she was.   
She heard a car.   
"GET IN THE CAR!" He yelled. She ran. He got out and grabbed her by the back of the neck. After throwing her into the back seat, he lost control, his fists impaling into her tiny body.  
"No, daddy, please. DADDY WHY STOP PLEASE IT HURTS!" She screamed.  
"YOU DON'T RUN AWAY AT NIGHT." He yelled. She was sobbing and her body hurt and she just wanted to sleep.  
He got back into the front seat and drove back to their house.  
There was a sign on the door that said 'This is my happy place' and she laughed whenever she saw it. This place was far from happy. She tried to run up the stairs, but he pulled her down by her hair. He cornered her and smacked her.  
"You don't run away from me you little piece of shit." He growled.  
"Yes sir." She whispered.  
\---------------------------------------------  
"You're finally awake!" Hayley sobbed.  
"Hayley?"  
"You just kept crying and whimpering and muttering things and I couldn't calm you down." Instead of responding, Aiden wiped her tears and pulled the flame-headed girl into a hug. They stayed like that for several minutes until Hayley climbed into the bed and they fell asleep.  
\--------------------------------------------  
Tay fell out of bed the next morning. The brunette yawned as she rubbed her sore elbow.  
She thought about what Carter had said, and couldn't help but wonder what the girl was hiding inside. She wondered how she could just decide to grow up and have it work.   
In all honesty, the reason Tay still hadn't left after so long was because she had to hurt herself.  
She felt like she was making a big deal out of how alone she felt, I mean, everyone feels lonely sometimes, right? So she hurt herself to fit the deal. She was allowed to hate herself, she had scars on her body, scars that she put there. She deserved to feel the way she did, she did it to herself.  
\---------------------------------------------  
Kathryn just felt so much pressure. Sure, suicide was a coward's way out, but it was a hell of a lot easier. Hate gays, they said, gays are satan spawn. Well she was gay, so she was going to hell anyway. Why not get there a bit quicker?   
Jenna was so... Blunt. In a good way. She gave Kathryn a clarity that no one else did. She didn't worry about her parent's finding flirty texts on her phone, or the next important deadline, or anything. When Jenna was around, she could just be.


	14. Fourteen

Thirteen year old Jenna McDougall was walking to the park, just like every other day. She climbed her favorite tree and opened the book she was reading.  
"Who are you up there?" She heard.  
"Jenna. You?" On the ground stood a beautiful girl, short and thin, with cerulean eyes and wavy brown hair.  
"Avin." Jenna climbed down and landed softly on the dirt.  
From that day on, the two girls were inseparable. They did everything together.  
This proved to be true a year later, almost to the day. Avin ran into the park, her face slightly red and her breathing heavy.  
"Guess what!" She exclaimed, helping Jenna up.  
"What?"  
"I have the perfect way to be popular for high school."  
"Oh really?" Jenna quirked an eyebrow.  
"We're gonna get skinny." Avin whispered in a hushed tone.   
\---------------------------------------------  
Jenna always had more to prove, always had to do everything right. So, she threw herself into the task at hand.  
Exercise, check nutrition content, eat, exercise, repeat. Her weight loss slowed down as the eighth grade year came to a close.  
"Jenna why are you still worrying? We dieted, now we're super hot. We've got our spot secured." Avin said.  
"I'm not good enough yet. I still have more to lose." The green haired girl insisted.  
"If you say so I guess." Jenna smiled and walked ahead, leaving the food court.   
\---------------------------------------------  
Jenna had started feeling lightheaded, but waved it away as nothing. Avin observed her friend every day and knew something was wrong.  
"Jenna, I think it's time to stop dieting."  
"What? No! I can't, I still have mo-"  
"More weight to lose?" She cut off, "If you lose any more weight you won't exist. Please eat something."  
"No! You just want me fat again! I wasn't good enough then."  
"You don't see what you've become! No body fat, practically a skeleton!"  
"NO! STOP LYING!" Jenna ran at Avin and started punching her. Not five minutes later, she fell to the floor in a heap.  
\---------------------------------------------  
Jenna remember the infinite moments, the ones that felt like hours, and years, and seconds. She also remembered the ones that flashed before her eyes.  
"Call me Jenna." She finished. A brunette ran past her.  
"MY NAMES JENNA!" The girl screamed." A tall blonde followed quietly and turned to Jenna.  
"No it's not."


	15. Fifteen

Two months. Two months had passed since her mother has visited, and Aiden was happier than ever. Her parents had basically disappeared off the face of the Earth.  
"Hayley, you are amazing." She said, smiling. The redhead smirked in response.  
"Oh really? Well you're more amazing." This isn't to say that everything was perfect, not in the least. Aiden was still having nightmares, and had trust issues with most people, but every day was better than the last. Sometimes she didn't want to talk, and Hayley understood. She wasn't pushy, she wasn't mean.  
"What's gonna happen when we leave?" She asked quietly.  
"Well, I'm going to eat pizza and ice cream and never look at oatmeal again." Hayley said, "What about you? Do you want to eat pizza and ice cream and never look at oatmeal again with me?"  
Aiden considered this for a moment. She wanted to be around Hayley, and she didn't have a place to live. She bit her lip.  
"Wouldn't I be intruding?"  
"Never. You could never intrude on me. I like you too much for it to be intruding."  
"Then maybe."  
"Please?" Hayley pouted, looking up at Aiden.  
"Fine. But you have to let me know the second it feels like I'm intruding."  
"Promise."  
\---------------------------------------------  
"Avin?" Jenna questioned. She was surprised when she had a visitor, her family never came.  
"I wanted to say I was sorry. It was my fault you started doing stuff to yourself and I needed to apologize. I feel so guilty."  
"Don't feel sorry. That was my past and I'm in the future. I found someone who I care about and who cares about me and we're helping each other get through this."  
"Who?"  
"Her name is Kathryn. She's perfect. Do you have anyone?"  
"That's great! Yeah, I do. Do you remember Julia? When you were telling me how you wanted to be called Jenna? Avin asked.  
"Yeah, she was cool." Jenna replied. Her friend hesitated for a moment.  
"Are you happy?"  
"More than ever." The green haired girl replied truthfully.  
\---------------------------------------------  
"Tay? Can I tell you something?" Carter asked. The brunette nodded and smiled.  
"What?"  
"I like you. A lot. I think you're an amazing person and I don't want to leave you when we get out."  
"I don't want to leave you either."  
"Can we make this more long term?" Carter asked shyly. Tay kissed her on the lips lightly.  
"I would love to."  
\---------------------------------------------  
Amy tried to get better. She knew her problems were destructive and hurt people.  
"I just feel intimidated and I can be happy one minute, then hurting someone the next. It scares me because I never know what I'll do." She confessed to Erin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of The Light That's Left. I will be posting an epilogue set two years later. I had an amazing time with this story, even if it wasn't the best and I love you all <3


	16. Epilogue

(TWO YEARS LATER)

Hayley was released first, and she visited every chance she got. Aiden was released soon after. They moved in together and are currently engaged. Aiden plans to propose on Halloween, Hayley's favorite holiday. 

Tay and Carter were released together and were soon married. They are planning on adopting two children together. Carter fixed the gap between her and her mother and they now have family dinner every Friday.

Jenna proposed to Kathryn exactly one month after she was released. They haven't gotten married yet, but are extremely happy and taking it one day at a time.

Amy was released a little over a year later. She is currently living with her boyfriend John who deals with her mood swings in a calm and rational manner and helps her follow the right path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am currently working on my next story, which should be posted within the next few days :)


End file.
